Expectations of a child who grew up in the church

I’ve decided to talk a little on that because I overheard a conversation between neighbours regarding a christian family. As long as I’ve known them they’ve been really active in church and church activities. The conversation began with them talking about the younger daughter being pregnant not married and dating. The children who grew up in church are ones being judged upon every life situation or the path they choose to walk through. Here are a few of the things I’ve heard from people both christians and non christians on their expectations from a Christian child.

  • They are to be the most respectful
  • They should not get into trouble
  • They are to have only Christians friends or associates
  • They should not have a social life outside of the church
  • They should not date
  • They are not to have sex before marriage or get pregnant before marriage
  • They should dress a certain way

Christians are told to behave as Christ like so when others see them they see him in them. People are going to talk whether you do something good or bad. I grew up in the church and I get judged all the time some are brave enough to say it to your face and some of the people who do it are the ones who you least expect. I’ve been asked why do I talk to this person or be friends with this group of people who are nothing like me. Everyone situation are different for me I am the voice of reason and I’m the one person everyone calls for advice. Should I leave my non christian friends in their time of need?

Like many other christians who seek friends outside the church do it to gain souls for Christ and to get some knowledge on touchy subjects that some christians are afraid or avoid talking about that are surfaced in today’s world. To those who constantly assume or pin point ones down fall we all have been tempted or tested in life, theirs maybe be played out in front of us so let us not be too quick to judge but rather learn from their situation.

To those of you who have or are experiencing this situation I ask that you remain steadfast on his word and pray that he leads you through life’s journey. Also to those who have not yet experience it remember you are the one people are going to be looked upon so be aware of the choices and consequences that follows also every action causes a reaction.

Time out!

During this week I watched a TV talk show and they talked about putting their friends on time out; for a moment I thought about it and I came up with five reasons for putting someone on time out ,so let’s begin!

Immature

Sometimes your best friend or friend still acts like a four year old. They might laugh at everything even when things are serious. They do things that just annoy you and sometimes just misbehave even in a formal setting or among business officials.

Negativity

You might be in a place in life where you want peace but the people that surround your aren’t much of an encouragement. They say or do things that are totally opposite of your goals.
Busy work schedule or school

This one might not be a deliberate reason for some but I do know of some people who will and have used that excuse as a reason to get out of situations.  For others your free time does not match their free time therefore causing an unfortunate timeout.

Jealousy
Ever been in a situation where your friends talk about all that they’ve accomplished every time you spend time with them? You sit quietly and nod your head and put on the most fake smile so they can shut up.  (Yup, I’m definitely guilty of that one!)
Then you might distant yourself from others due to comments that were made or by the way you felt throughout the conversation.

Just want time to yourself /define yourself /evaluate yourself

Sometimes there’s no problem at all but you feel like you need some time to yourself and work on the things you want to change about yourself without the whispers in your ear and judgments.

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Now that I’ve listed five reasons for putting someone on time out and I have to admit that ive done this for all of the above reasons. Some of these people at one point were my “to go” to people but for the reasons above I had to part ways from them.  For those who may be wondering as to how long do you put someone on time, the answer is as long as its necessary for you.  Sometimes change is good even if it challenges you.

If you have ever placed a friend or family member on time please feel free to share your experience or comment. Also I would like you guys to please check out this blog www.honeypeadigital.com if you are interested in music.

Questions that people hate hearing or answering

A few days ago i spoke to a friend a mine and the first thing that was asked was ”what’s new?” From that moment I decided that I should blog about questions /things people asked or say that often annoy me. Let’s get started!

 What’s new?

We talk everyday and you still ask me what’s new. I don’t get it. Do they ask because their lives are better than yours or just want you to feel bad about your life being in the same place for years, working paycheck to paycheck or whatever it is they might have a problem with in your life.

Everything is going to be alright!

You speak your heart out and all that they say is everything is going to be alright as if that’s the answer to your problem.

Do whatever you want!

In certain situations you want to make sure you consider the other person’s decision /view or you just want to include them in planning or decision and they respond do whatever you want.

Tomorrow!

Tomorrow seems so far when you’ve been anticipating all day or a minute past its due time

Ask and you shall receive

Believe it or not people try to quote scriptures when they need something

Forgive and forget

Another scripture people quote to Christians. People believe if they include God or the bible every time they want something from a christian that they will be give in and not question.

When are you getting married or when are you going to have a baby?

Stop! It’s no one’s business when and if he/she wants to get married or waiting for the right time.

Please be careful with the manner in which you speak to individuals. Not everyone who ask you certain questions are trying to pinpoint /make known of their successful life. To those who do it just to get a reaction out of them please stop. No one’s perfect and success don’t just happen overnight it’s a process. To those who get easily annoyed like me keep your head up and try to block all negativity. Stay blessed!

Dating and Anxiety/Depression

I have learnt that the people who help or put others before themselves just to make them happy are the ones hurting inside the most. I  have been dating this one guy for  7 years. The first 4 years we’ve broken up a few times because I was not going out due to the feelings I had every time he would mention these words let’s go out or let’s hang out. At  that moment I couldn’t tell that  what was going on with me nor did I know exactly what was wrong. On the days that we did hang out were the days that I secretly self medicated. I self medicated for almost 5 years.  I just did it because I had to leave my house at some point and I was not planning on losing him again. The long phone calls and text messages were not not enough. He felt like our relationship was just over the phone  even when somehow I felt content to have someone to even care that much about me.
As our love for each other grew I felt the need to let him in on my health status and that I self medicated. At that moment I thought he would walk right  out of my life but he didn’t.  He encouraged me to go take little steps and even offered to help me.  
When we decide to go out I try my best to remain calm and not trigger my anxiety. Some days I popped a pill, took and bottle of water and also carry mints in my handbag. These items were my crutch. I did not take the pills everyday just to be clear. I only took them when we went out and the effects of the pill lasted three days so there was no need to take another back to back if we’d go out the next day.

In my relationship I felt like I owed him for staying with me and being my only friend. We would have arguments and I automatically think it’s my fault because in the past he left me because I wasn’t going out. I would do little things to remind him that I care, love and appreciate him.  There are days that I think that I’m not doing enough because I’m not  happy because I think he is not happy. I feel like some of my happiness thrive on others happiness.

My boyfriend has been my by my side from the moment I opened up about my health and even after he found out that I was depressed.  It’s not always easy for either of us but we’re thankful that we’re doing it together. He listens to me even on my most depressing days. At times I can see him hurting inside because there’s not much he can do. I  try not to tell him too much because I don’t want to be too dependant on him but at the same time what do you do when he is your only friend and even closer to you than close relatives?
Depressed individuals don’t want to be treated differently but do want those around to consider their situation.  We don’t want to be left out the loop.

My Story

Hello! I know I’ve been away for months but in all truth I was going through a rough time and I did not have the strength to write anything.
The last time I was on here I mentioned about depression and I’m suppose to do a follow up on that so without further ado let’s begin!
In November 2012, I was officially diagnosed with anxiety, depression and agoraphobia. My sister was the one who saw the signs of anxiety in me and encouraged me to visit a Dr. When she told me that I was a little relieved that someone saw that I needed help because I was too scared ask for help. The next day, I made up my mind to go see a Dr.  I made a few calls trying to get the right Dr for me. Believe me that was the easy step. The next thing was to get ready and this is where it all started from the sweats, self medicating and several trips to the bathroom. Eventually I made it to the Dr’s office late afternoon.
I was asked various questions and by my answers and my sister’s story of how I lived for the past 6 years confirmed her diagnosis. I remember sitting there continuously wiping my hands and not giving eye contact while she told me that I had to go on antidepressants and attend sessions with a clinical psychologist..
Later that night I started Xanax 0.5mg for two weeks and Paroxetine 20mg that I took every day. I kept a journal for a few months on how I was feeling while on these drugs. In 2013 the clinical psychologist said that I was doing better and saw no need in continuing our sessions so my Dr saw that I was doing pretty good and decided to wean me off. I went from 20mg paxil (also known as paroxetine) everyday to 10mg every other day. At first I was super excited about not taking pills everyday to the “what if it doesn’t work?”
The first few weeks of weaning went surprisingly well until I fell I’ll which led me to withdraw myself completely from it. The first few days away from the pills were the worst I’ve been. I could not concentrate, my stomach was aching, I felt terrible and not myself. I was not allowed to mix paxil with the other medications I’d be given. A week later I took 10 mg of paxil for three days and made up my mind to discontinue my intake of it. It was hard at first but I did it without any major problems.
Today it is a year and six months since my last pill. I am not 100 percent better but I am better than how I was six years ago. I now leave my house for hours at a time and I don’t know when last I had a panic attack. There are times that my anxiety affects me like on very stressful moments and especially when I am not in control of things.

I don’t advice anyone to stop taking their medication without consulting your Dr first. For those of you who have experienced or going through please share your story or comment below I would love to hear from you guys. Stay blessed!

A Familiar Place…

It’s been long since I’ve updated my blog. I’ve been ill but thank God I’m alive. Lately I’ve been having sleepless nights because I have so much on my mind. I don’t think there’s one night that I go to bed without worrying over something. I often tell people that they should not worry to the point where it’s all they do but I find myself in that cycle all day every day.
I suffer with anxiety, agoraphobia and depression. I am determined to beat it. I’ve gone through therapy session and even tried anti depressants. On the antidepressants my life felt somewhat at ease. There was no need for me to run to the bathroom several times before leaving home. Now that I’m off it and no longer scheduled for therapy sessions and at home unemployed did no help in keeping me relaxed. I am back to my routine and anything new or unexpected raises all flags and triggers my anxiety.
I’ve decided to take control of my mind and body. I know it’s not going to be an easy task but I promise myself to think positive and stop and smile even through the tough times.

In another post I will share some of the techniques that I use for anxiety till then have a wonderful day!

Best tips of learning

Learning is important and can be fun when you know the right steps to take. Below are three of my main topics and tips that are effective when it comes to learning.

Memory

When we speak of memory we need to consider two things whether it is Long term or working memory.

Long term memory refers to storing information for later use and a good example of that is learning your multiplications table. It takes a process of looking at it, saying it out loud, recalling it without looking at it and that happens over a number of days and breaks. Working memory is the first response that comes to mind and it’s the immediate thought retrieval like knowing your appointment time or flight number. When we speak of memory it is something that we can quote without the aid of a book or other learning materials.

How is information stored for later retrieval?

  • One must first select what it is they are going to learn, where they are going to study or read and whether it’s a group or solo session
  • Collect all required materials needed
  • Scan the book by going through the pages reading titles, subtitles, viewing diagrams and charts
  • As you read you can highlight or take notes of important things
  • After you’ve read you can now look away and try to recall what you’ve read
  • If you don’t understand something you can continue reading and as you carry on you just might get pieces of the puzzle that was unclear in the beginning.
  • Test yourself
  • Remember to take breaks and sleep properly

Sleep

When it comes to learning sleep is very important. Sleep works hand in hand with memory. Some say the best way to remember something is to sleep on it. When you sleep the brain strengthens some thoughts and decides what to lose. If you stay up all night learning something without sleep chances are you won’t be able to learn something or focus on the task at hand. The brain produces an electrical chemical calls neurons which plays an important role in transmitting information while we sleep. Lack of sleep causes lost of neurons causing a deprivation of Serotonin which is responsible for mood (depression, frustration and confusion), Acetylcholine (memory) and sleep disorders (insomnia).

Tips for good night sleep

  • Go to bed the same time every night and wake up the same time
  • Relax before bed (read, take a warm shower, watch a TV show, listen to music)
  • Exercise
  • Avoid caffeine before bed (caffeine is a stimulant to keep you awake)

Testing

Like every situation or lesson at some point you will be put to the test. What best way to know if you have grasped the concepts other that test yourself. During testing phase some level of creativity comes out whether it’s a game of Jeopardy, timing yourself, filling in blanks spaces to complete the equation or any other fun way in retrieving what you have studied.

I hope you find the information useful and consider them the next time you are learning something or going over notes.

Dear Reader

 

Dear reader,

Today its day four on blogging 101. I don’t know how you feel today but I do hope you’re better than how I’m feeling right now. If you’re not in the best of mood I want to let you know that I love you and that you are special in your own special way. Regardless of your circumstances hold on and keep focus. Remember to pass a smile to someone else and have a good day!

Love Netz

This song Smile came to my mind so I’ve embedded the link so enjoy!

Say Hello to the Neighbors

Today’s blogging 101 task is an easy one; finding five new followers and five new topics of interest. Finding five new followers can be somewhat time -consuming. It’s good to have someone who shares similar stories as you but wouldn’t that be boring to read the same thing every day? I’ve followed already followed many but today I decided to follow 5 people and topics that are totally unrelated to my blog. I am going to do this open mindedly; you just might be one that I choose. Time to get my reading on!

Title and tagline

Blogging 101 assignment no.2

Hmm…when it came to naming my blog the first thing name I thought of was Ms Green but I ended up with the title Blessings but Sometimes a Curse. It seemed fine until this assignment of changing you title and tagline. Blessings but sometimes a curse reminds me of life’s tragedy, one moment things are okay then the next thing you know it shuffles. In order to grow change need to occur so with that said I manage to come up with a few titles; The Wonders of Ms Green and The Rare View of Ms Green. Green is my favorite color and to me it represents growth and that’s the path that I want to be on the path that I choose. These two title speaks simplicity and that’s who I am.  For the tagline I think I will use my old title blessings but sometimes a curse I don’t know I can’t let go of it.   Let me know what you guys think.

The Wonders of Ms Green; live and think green

Or

The Rare View of Ms Green; blessing but sometimes a curse